Remembering with Peace

When you've suffered a loss, it takes time to go through the different stages of grief. As you process emotions and life rushes past you at its hurried pace, you may feel that the memory of your loss is pushed aside. Then when you have time to deal with those memories, the hurt is dredged up again.

It's important to take the time you need to heal and enlist the help of others. In the event of miscarriage, some people may not want to give you any grieving time. They will expect you to be 100% a few days later. It's hard to understand why some people aren't able to comprehend that suffering a miscarriage is a great loss, a death, a pain-filled occurrence.

Do not lose yourself to others' expectations. It is reasonable to expect a full recovery from a miscarriage in a reasonable amount of time--this time varies for each individual.
There are a few things that you might be able to do to help in this time of suffering.

• Create a memory garden with beautiful perennial plants and flowers for your sweet baby.

• Plant a lilac bush or a tree and tell yourself that as this tree grows, so will you continue to grow in strength and courage to face each day.

• If you aren't the gardening type, you can purchase a houseplant. I have African Violets that are ten years old and a variety of houseplant that is thirteen years old that require very little maintenance and grows beautifully.

• Keep a journal. You will be amazed when you look back in years to come and see your own personal growth. For more on this subject, read this post http://copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com/2010/09/sometimes-it-takes-trial-to-recognize.html

Most important is to remember with peace. Let go of the overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief and find a measure of peace in this trial. It may take weeks, months, or years, but it is my prayer that you will find and feel peace.