tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29021787813390521772024-03-12T16:05:14.177-07:00Coping with MiscarriageI hope you will find peace and comfort from this blog as you journey through the despair of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility. Whether you are walking this path or know someone else suffering, read on to find support.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-33927947518173883812011-06-01T12:38:00.000-07:002011-06-01T12:38:14.743-07:00Remembering with Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c00tAr71ARk/TeaNeWvk_5I/AAAAAAAABLs/1c0IBe3Jt-8/s1600/100_2609.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c00tAr71ARk/TeaNeWvk_5I/AAAAAAAABLs/1c0IBe3Jt-8/s320/100_2609.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
When you've suffered a loss, it takes time to go through the different stages of grief. As you process emotions and life rushes past you at its hurried pace, you may feel that the memory of your loss is pushed aside. Then when you have time to deal with those memories, the hurt is dredged up again.<br />
<br />
It's important to take the time you need to heal and enlist the help of others. In the event of miscarriage, some people may not want to give you any grieving time. They will expect you to be 100% a few days later. It's hard to understand why some people aren't able to comprehend that suffering a miscarriage is a great loss, a death, a pain-filled occurrence.<br />
<br />
Do not lose yourself to others' expectations. It is reasonable to expect a full recovery from a miscarriage in a <i>reasonable</i> amount of time--this time varies for each individual.<br />
There are a few things that you might be able to do to help in this time of suffering.<br />
<br />
<ul><li>Create a memory garden with beautiful perennial plants and flowers for your sweet baby.</li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JhgmGQ_FsE8/TeaN32LDKRI/AAAAAAAABLw/4IpuVQK1gmk/s1600/100_1816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JhgmGQ_FsE8/TeaN32LDKRI/AAAAAAAABLw/4IpuVQK1gmk/s320/100_1816.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><ul><li>Plant a lilac bush or a tree and tell yourself that as this tree grows, so will you continue to grow in strength and courage to face each day.</li>
</ul><br />
<ul><li>If you aren't the gardening type, you can purchase a houseplant. I have African Violets that are ten years old and a variety of houseplant that is thirteen years old that require very little maintenance and grows beautifully.</li>
</ul><br />
<ul><li>Keep a journal. You will be amazed when you look back in years to come and see your own personal growth. For more on this subject, read this post <a href="http://copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com/2010/09/sometimes-it-takes-trial-to-recognize.html">http://copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com/2010/09/sometimes-it-takes-trial-to-recognize.html</a></li>
</ul>Most important is to remember with peace. Let go of the overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief and find a measure of peace in this trial. It may take weeks, months, or years, but it is my prayer that you will find and feel peace.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-53926257971650026852010-09-23T19:35:00.000-07:002010-09-23T19:35:54.643-07:00Sometimes It Takes a Trial to Recognize Who We AreI believe that this life is a time for us to experience many things both good and bad. Of course, I'd rather just experience the good, but I also realize why I have trials--to learn. During those hard times of life when I'm facing a trial it is hard to see anything but the grief and agony I'm going through as I try to overcome whatever obstacle is blocking my path to happiness.<br />
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I would definitely define miscarriage as an unpleasant trial. During the time when my husband and I were going through the sadness and disappointment of miscarriages, I was wearing the blinders of grief. I couldn't see very far into the future because I felt like I was drowning in a pool of sorrow.<br />
Thank goodness our perspective can change over time. I can now look back at those unpleasant times and recognize the things I learned.<br />
<br />
I wanted to share one of those things with you today. I learned that I am of individual worth.<br />
Yes, it's a phrase I repeated every Sunday in Young Women's, but I only understood the surface of that statement. During the years when I yearned and prayed for a baby, I often questioned my self-worth. When I had repeated miscarriages, I wondered if Heavenly Father didn't think I was good enough to be a mother. I often wondered if I was a good enough person to be deserving of a child--was that why my prayers for a baby weren't being answered?<br />
After my first miscarriage and subsequent years of infertility, I was walking through the refiner's fire. I began to realize something about myself and how important I was to our Heavenly Father's plan. It was shortly before my second miscarriage when I finally began to accept the truth that <span style="font-size: large;">"I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and I am of infinite worth."</span> I realized that it didn't matter if I ever had children on this earth--Heavenly Father loves me! Heavenly Father knows my individual worth.<br />
<br />
I was able to accept and cope with my second miscarriage in an entirely different way than I had faced my first miscarriage. It was still horrible. I was still sad and grieving, but through all that I was experiencing I could feel a sense of peace about God, about my Savior Jesus Christ, and of their infinite wisdom and love for me.<br />
<br />
I want you to know that you are also of individual, infinite worth. Read this line aloud: I am of individual and infinite worth and am not defined solely by my earthly circumstances.<br />
<br />
This does not mean that your trials will be easy. It doesn't mean that you won't grieve and mourn when you experience a miscarriage or other type of trial in your life. What it does mean is that no matter what happens to you, despite all that you might endure, this truth will never change: You are of individual worth.<br />
<br />
Through my trials, I came to the conclusion that even if I was never able to bear children, I am still of infinite worth. This truth came so powerfully to me that I knew I could keep forging ahead and keep trying despite the pain. Sometimes it takes a trial to recognize who we are--the important thing is to grab hold of that truth and remember who we are for the trials in our future.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-72425390176243929262010-06-18T14:11:00.000-07:002010-06-18T14:11:05.406-07:00Father's Day Thoughts After a MiscarriageFather's Day is a wonderful holiday, although it usually doesn't receive as much fanfare as Mother's Day. <br />
<br />
When speaking of miscarriage, infertility, or other babies and children gone too soon, we often refer to Mother's Day as the "dreaded holiday" full of memories of what could have been, stark reminders of empty arms. I hope that you can read a few of my other posts here on this blog and information in my book, Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage <iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=racswrispo-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1599552485&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>to help with these feelings. I'm bringing up this subject because I want to shine a light on a holiday that can be just as hard for a man who also has empty arms--<span style="font-size: large;">Father's Day</span>.<br />
<br />
In my book, I have a special chapter, <span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Husbands Have a Right to Grieve</span>.<br />
Here is an excerpt from that chapter:<br />
<br />
Whenever someone mentions miscarriage, our thoughts usually turn to the woman who is suffering. She has gone through a terrible experience and we try our best to help and comfort her. But what about her husband? <br />
<br />
The husband also has the right and need to mourn. He may experience some of the same or different emotions as his spouse. From my own experience, I remember I was so overwhelmed by my initial grief and pain that I couldn’t focus on anything else. I am so grateful my husband was able to explain to me that he was hurting too. Because he was willing to confide in me, my perspective shifted significantly so I was able to see that the suffering was not just my own, but ours to endure together.<br />
<br />
It helped me to know that not only was my husband concerned about me, but he too was grieving the loss of our baby. He was not always as verbal about his feelings as I was. There were days I would forget he was grieving because he mourned in such a quiet way.<br />
<br />
Men are very different from women emotionally, and particularly in how those emotions are expressed. Women usually find it therapeutic to verbalize their thoughts and emotions, whereas men tend to resolve them by thinking them out and bringing them to a mental resolution. Our differences can and should complement each other instead of causing discord.<br />
<br />
Many women shared with me that their husbands wished someone would acknowledge they were hurting too. During my research, I have learned that many husbands often felt overlooked and forgotten during the mourning and comforting process. One man said, “It was my baby too and I am hurting just as much as my wife. I know it’s different but I’m not only hurting for the loss of the baby. I’m hurting for the pain my wife is going through.”<br />
<br />
Even though husbands do have a need and a right to grieve, most will grieve differently than their wife. Because the woman experiences all of the physical changes of pregnancy and miscarriage, it is often hard for the husband to identify with the same emotions. He will likely feel grief, but he may not express his feelings as openly.<br />
<br />
I talked to many husbands who felt they needed to be strong for their wife and family. Some felt that if they could temper their hurt and disappointment it would help their wife deal with the situation better.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You can read more on this subject in my </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Children-Coping-Miscarriage-Latter-Day/dp/1599552485?ie=UTF8&tag=racswrispo-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" target="_blank">book</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=racswrispo-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1599552485" style="border: medium none ! important; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">.</span> My hope is to create awareness that it is not only the woman who suffers after a miscarriage. We can be sensitive to both the husband and a wife in this case and remember that even though women are the emotional creatures, men have feelings too.<br />
<br />
With Father's Day approaching, I hope that you will have a chance to make new happy memories. If there is sadness in your life right now because of loss, I hope you can take a moment to ponder how you can help a father who has suffered and how you can both walk the healing path together.<br />
<br />
If you have questions, feel free to email me: RachellethewriterAT gmail.comRachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-19206299302585210952010-05-13T10:58:00.000-07:002010-05-13T10:58:10.083-07:00Introduction of Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day SaintsI'm posting the introduction of my book below. Please note that there have been some minor changes made to the published work. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Children-Coping-Miscarriage-Latter-Day/dp/1599552485?ie=UTF8&tag=racswrispo-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day Saints</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=racswrispo-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1599552485" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> is now available at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Children-Coping-Miscarriage-Latter-Day/dp/1599552485?ie=UTF8&tag=racswrispo-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Amazon</a>, Barnes & Noble, Borders, and more bookstores near you.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S-w9X8eq90I/AAAAAAAABAM/_XsQ426SN6M/s1600/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S-w9X8eq90I/AAAAAAAABAM/_XsQ426SN6M/s200/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Introduction<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="line-height: 200%;">When I discovered I would become a mother I never imagined anything would go wrong. My husband and I were overjoyed and excited to be pregnant with our first baby. We had been married for almost two years and felt ready to start a family; so we immediately began preparing for the day when we could bring our baby home. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="line-height: 200%;">It was an exciting time. Each day I awoke with a smile, thinking about the new life within me. I immersed myself in baby books, magazines, and any information I could find about pregnancy and becoming a mother.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="line-height: 200%;">About six weeks into my pregnancy, I was overcome with fear and anxiety that something was wrong with my baby. I began crying uncontrollably. My husband was concerned for me, and asked me why I felt that way. I told him, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just emotional, but I’m afraid that something will go wrong with my pregnancy.”</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="line-height: 200%;">He gave me a Priesthood blessing to overcome feelings of doubt and depression and I felt at peace. I went to my first doctor appointment for my ten week check-up and was told that everything looked good. My uterus was an appropriate size and I was in good health. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="line-height: 200%;">Over the next few days, I felt better and was once again excited about my pregnancy. We went shopping for a few maternity clothes. It was so fun to try on the little pregnancy pillow to see how I would look at five months pregnant. I thought back to all the Young Women lessons I had heard about the joys of motherhood and the sacred and specials blessings we as women are given to be mothers. My joy was full.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">When I was about eleven weeks into my pregnancy, I began spotting. I called my doctor’s office and the nurses reassured me this was common for a lot of women. After it continued for a few days, I insisted on seeing the doctor. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">I prayed constantly that all would be well, but I worried about the appointment. My doctor tried to find the heartbeat using the Doppler instrument for several minutes. When he couldn’t hear anything, he explained that sometimes it’s hard to find the heartbeat in the first trimester of pregnancy. He sent us over to the hospital for an ultrasound. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">I was nervous as we were admitted to the ultrasound room. The radiologist worked quietly and passed the ultrasound transducer over my abdomen. He kept looking at the <span class="MsoPageNumber">fuzzy black and white images</span> with a furrowed brow. Then he asked me, “Have you been on any fertility drugs?”</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">Surprised, I said, “No, this was our first try at getting pregnant.”</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">He nodded his head and continued looking at the screen. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">My husband and I watched anxiously as the radiologist enlarged the picture on the screen and three small sacs came into view. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">“Is that triplets?” I asked in disbelief. He only nodded and then I observed him make a small X in each of the three sacs. My heart sank as I watched him silently working. He didn’t offer any explanation and I was too afraid to ask. All I could do was stare at the screen with the three X marks. I wondered if he was going to wait for our doctor to give us “the news.” My fears were confirmed when he finished the ultrasound and told us he would have some pictures for us to take back to our doctor in a few minutes.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">I knew something was very wrong with my pregnancy. I had three sacs in my uterus but had heard no heartbeat. Still, because the radiologist had said nothing I held on to some insane shred of hope.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">My husband and I returned to our doctor’s office with pictures of our ultrasound. The doctor looked them over and said, “I’m very sorry, but there was no heartbeat evident and no sign of a developing baby.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">He explained that I had been pregnant with triplets, but they looked to be possibly three separate blighted ova, a pregnancy failure which has occurred so early, no clearly defined fetal tissue has formed. He explained that sometimes a pregnancy ceases to develop several weeks before the uterus actually “miscarries.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">The doctor said that the gestational age looked to be about five or six weeks, which is too early to see a heartbeat. He asked that they draw my blood and then again in two days to check if the hCG or pregnancy hormones in my blood were dropping. This is how we would know for sure that I would miscarry because in a viable pregnancy the hCG levels double every two days.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">He offered his condolences and told me to go home, rest and try to deal with the loss of our pregnancy. I didn’t receive any instruction as to what I could do to ease the process, just a warning that if the bleeding became too heavy I should head to the emergency room. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">When my husband and I returned home, I didn’t want to believe I was going to have a miscarriage. Somewhere in my mind, I argued that because I had not yet lost the pregnancy, there was still a chance my babies could survive. I prayed that things would look normal with my blood tests—that maybe something was off with my cycle and I wasn’t as far along as we thought. In the back of my mind, I think I knew the truth but I didn’t want to let go of hope.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">I thought about all the family members who knew of our pregnancy and how excited we had been to make that announcement when I was about nine weeks along. How would we tell everyone we were no longer going to have a baby?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">It was difficult for me to sort out my feelings. For the past eleven weeks, I had been on an emotional high, preparing to be a mother. It was hard to believe that it wasn’t going to happen. Physically, I felt fine and kept hoping some miracle would take place. At the same time, I could hardly believe I had been pregnant with triplets. What an amazing event! We couldn’t help but talk about what it would have been like to have three babies at once. My husband was still in college and I had recently graduated. So we told ourselves we could never have afforded three babies at once in our little trailer home. But this make-believe consolation didn’t offer any comfort.</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">After a few days, I experienced intense pain and cramping. I was bleeding heavily and couldn’t stop dry heaving from the pain. I called my husband at work and told him I needed help. He rushed home and took me to the emergency room. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">That was the worst day of my life. I felt lost. While I waited in the emergency room, my body writhed with pain, which was all the more devastating because there would be no reward for any of it but sorrow. </div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">After I was treated, we returned to our empty home. We were devastated. I spent an entire day lying on the couch crying and asking the Lord why He let this happen. My husband was deeply saddened by our loss. He worried for me and the pain I had gone through and the recovery ahead. After months of pure joy and excitement, we were now left with emptiness. We were in a young married student ward where almost every couple had children. I didn’t know anyone who had experienced a miscarriage, and I had never expected to go through this trial.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">All the tears I cried could not wash away the insurmountable level of grief surrounding me. I received a priesthood blessing, but this did not completely take away my grief. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">As I went through the grieving process, I was left with many unanswered questions. I wondered what had happened to my babies. Were they developed enough to house a spirit? I was told by many people that I would have a celestial baby to raise in the hereafter, but that didn’t bring me comfort because I couldn’t find church doctrine to support the claim.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"> The following is a quote from my journal written a year after my first miscarriage:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><i>“I felt prompted to write about how to deal with miscarriage because maybe I could help someone in need.”<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">At the time I didn’t know that the <i>someone </i>would be me. The Lord was preparing a way for me to face another challenge in my life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Ten months later I wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><i>“The temple holds such a beautiful and peaceful feeling. It brings life into perspective. All I want is to have a baby. I know the Lord will bless us soon.”<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span class="MsoPageNumber">After my miscarriage</span>, people gave me all sorts of advice and although they meant well, much of it was misinformed. I struggled with going to church because it seemed there was always someone asking, “When are you going to have kids?” or offering suggestions and distorted doctrine. I searched for answers to my questions, received priesthood blessings, and met with my bishop to help me through the grieving process. </div><div class="MsoEndnoteText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">My husband and I were married for nearly five years before we were able to have our first baby. I experienced two miscarriages and problems with infertility.</span> <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Finally, our first daughter was born on a beautiful April day nearly three years after my first miscarriage. Two years later in August, we were blessed with another beautiful daughter and three years later a son. Though nothing brings me more joy today than my children, I still remember the deep sense of longing and loss I felt when I had no children. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoEndnoteText" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">This is why I have written this book. I hope the information and experiences I have gathered from many books, doctors, and people who have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility will help you through your time of sadness. I realize there are many who have suffered greater tribulations than I have experienced. For this reason, I have studied diligently to uncover truths which I hope will also help you through your trials.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"> I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and for each of you. He loves us and He will never leave us, if we will but ‘come unto him.’</div>Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-39027355509999866602010-05-05T20:05:00.000-07:002010-05-05T20:05:19.848-07:00You're invited to my book launchI'd like to invite you to the launch of this special book that has been years in the making. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Children-Coping-Miscarriage-Latter-Day/dp/1599552485?ie=UTF8&tag=racswrispo-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day Saints</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=racswrispo-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1599552485" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> is so important and dear to my heart.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S-IwoOGNfDI/AAAAAAAAA_I/h4wWDFmJoLM/s1600/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S-IwoOGNfDI/AAAAAAAAA_I/h4wWDFmJoLM/s320/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I will be signing copies of Lost Children at the <span style="font-size: large;">Orem, Utah Barnes & Noble on May 14, Friday from 6-8pm. </span><br />
Please come and support this book that needs to be in so many people's hands. <span style="font-size: large;">1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage</span> and everyone will be touched by miscarriage, infertility, or stillbirth in some way--either personally or because it happens to someone we love.<br />
Have you been looking for the perfect gift to give to that someone who is suffering? Have you been wondering how you could help, what you could say? This book is for you.<br />
<br />
Please check back to read the first chapter of the book here on my blog.<br />
Do you have questions about this topic or would you like to schedule a speaking engagement? Please contact me at Rachellethewriter AT gmail.comRachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-61293999164247487232010-04-13T15:38:00.000-07:002010-04-13T15:38:41.368-07:00Cover of Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day SaintsI am so pleased with the cover of my new nonfiction book. I hope that you like it too. I am so grateful that this book will finally be available to so many people who have questions and need comfort or want to know how to comfort others suffering from a miscarriage.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S8TyTcAeYQI/AAAAAAAAA-0/vYs-1nFt7iM/s1600/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S8TyTcAeYQI/AAAAAAAAA-0/vYs-1nFt7iM/s400/Lost+Children2x3.jpg" width="265" /></a></div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Children-Coping-Miscarriage-Latter-Day/dp/1599552485?ie=UTF8&tag=racswrispo-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day Saints</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=racswrispo-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1599552485" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> will be released May 8, 2010.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-48754686218519789612010-01-20T20:40:00.000-08:002010-01-20T20:42:12.004-08:00A New Year Is BornIt's difficult to begin a new year with a monkey on your back. It's hard to look forward with hope for accomplishing new goals with grief overshadowing each step.<br />
It hurts to look at an empty calendar and feel the emptiness inside an abdomen that should be stretching, reaching toward that due date in March--the birth of the new spring--a beautiful time for a baby to be born. My first pregnancy--my first baby--was supposed to be born in March. I don't think I coped very well at the time, to the days passing, months passing, and all I had to carry with me was emptiness as I didn't conceive. My baby's due date passed, an entire year passed, and still I wasn't pregnant.<br />
<br />
That was nine years ago. Nine years ago that I started a new year that passed without fulfilling my hope of becoming a mother.Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and whisper to myself, "Rachelle, you will become a mother on April 29, 2003. It will be one of the happiest days of your life."<br />
But I can't do that and it's probably for the best. The experiences that shaped me, that shape each one of us, make us who we are.<br />
<br />
I hope that you will look up at that cloud of grief shading you from the sun and find strength to face this new year. Make some goals. They can be simple, they can be complex, but they must be goals that you will strive to achieve. Work towards goals to keep yourself growing through life's experiences to become your true self that lies hidden in the tears of sorrow, adversity, and grief--the true self that is strong enough to overcome this trial and face another year. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S1faaSLetoI/AAAAAAAAA4k/kb51yNqmWS8/s1600-h/100_2609.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/S1faaSLetoI/AAAAAAAAA4k/kb51yNqmWS8/s320/100_2609.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
</div><br />
If this is your new year facing loss, please reach out to someone for help and comfort. Leave a comment, send an email to rachellethewriterAT gmail.com if you'd like, and keep reading this blog. I will continue to update through the year with more of my story and tips to help you as we approach the release date of my book in May 2010- Lost Children:Coping with Miscarriage.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-15739025100667497462009-12-15T10:21:00.000-08:002009-12-15T10:49:08.891-08:00Fading Scars(c) Rachelle J. Christensen<br /><br />As a child I was lucky I guess because I never broke any bones and only had one stitch. When I was one year old, I fell onto the sharp edge of a coffee table and split my upper lip open. One stitch sealed it up and no one was the wiser. The scar faded and I remember I'd have to look hard to see the fine white line just below my nose if I wanted proof of my one stitch.<br /><br />That was quite a few years ago and with time and lots of exposure to the sun, that little scar has become more noticeable. I still remember feeling shocked when someone asked me, "How did you get that scar?"<br /><br />It's still very faint, just one slanted line not even a 1/2 inch long, but when I've been out in the sun a lot it seems to be a bit more noticeable.<br /><br />So why am I telling you about my little inconsequential scar? I'm telling you about it because even though it's very small, at most times invisible to the average onlooker, it's still there. I still have a scar and nothing short of plastic surgery will ever take that scar away.<br /><br />I have other scars from the miscarriages I experienced, from the period of infertility I suffered through, from the emotional hurt inflicted by others. At first the wounds were deep, the scar ugly and painful, but with time they healed.<br /><br />The scars began to fade, but interestingly enough at times the scars seemed more visible. Like the times when I would sit with other women and listen to them talk about their children, or watch a new mother cradle her infant in her arms while I felt the emptiness of my arms sagging weightlessly to my sides. At these times, the scars seemed to flash with a raw pain that was hard to hide.<br /><br />Over time I was able to hide my scars more effectively. I became highly skilled at deflecting hurtful comments and changing the subject. But those hidden scars still pulsed with a pain that had to be dealt with. It was only when I faced those scars head-on and saw them for what they really are--a part of me--that I could fully heal.<br /><br />I still have scars, but they don't hurt me like they used to. Certain things trigger memories that make me think of my scars and just like I sometimes notice the faint line above my lip while I'm applying my makeup, at times I ponder the situations that created other scars in my life.<br /><br />The healing process is important. As I wrote my book, <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage</span>, each chapter seemed to apply a comforting salve to old scars. Understanding and friendship with others who experienced some of the same things helped me greatly.<br /><br />I learned that nothing anyone could do or say could erase the scars of miscarriage. I will carry those scars with me throughout my entire life, but I'm no longer burdened by them. They have faded to fine lines which sometimes ache, but mostly serve as a reminder of how precious life is and the strength God has given me to overcome.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-88470350159036564552009-11-17T09:58:00.000-08:002009-11-17T10:09:33.564-08:00Holiday HeartachesThe holidays are a busy, wonderful time of year and for many people are full of memories of good times with family. When you pull out the turkey platter and then the Christmas ornaments in a few weeks, perhaps you'll experience a wave of nostalgia for the holidays in the past.<br /><br />For some, holidays are hard to bear because in the midst of family celebrations they are reminded of the family they have lost. I'm sure you've known someone who had a difficult time feeling the joy of the season because it served as an acute reminder of someone who wasn't there.<br /><br />After my first miscarriage, I remember crying at Christmas because I should've been pregnant. I should have been able to sit by the Christmas tree and place my hands on my swollen abdomen and feel joy in the life growing within.<br /><br />And then the next Christmas I cried because not only did I not have a baby, but I still wasn't pregnant.<br /><br />I was not in a constant depression, but during the holidays I felt the loss a little more keenly as I thought of the memories we would have been making with our child.<br /><br />I've mentioned The National Share Organization before and I want to give you a link to a wonderful <a href="http://nationalshare.blogspot.com/2009/10/in-present.html">blog post I found there by Cynthia Prest</a>.<br />She talks about living in the present and I think this is so true.<br /><br />I hope that this holiday season if you have reason to mourn that you might give yourself the best present of all--take time to grieve, but also take a moment to live in the present. Give yourself this gift to enjoy the present without the past or the future clouding your festivities.<br /><br />It's difficult I know because it was something that took me some time to learn and I still need reminders for. Life doesn't always cooperate with my plans but I can still find joy in the present.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-48072143919850636042009-11-04T19:20:00.000-08:002009-11-04T19:27:37.490-08:00Lost Children:Coping with MiscarriageI am excited because it's only about six months until my book's publication date. I know that seems like forever--but believe me it's a lot closer than three years ago which is when I began working hard to gather information and compile this book.<br /><br />May 2010 is the projected release date and I am busy planning to utilize my book to help people coping with miscarriage. I'm presenting a special musical program on coping with grief and teaching others how to mourn with those that mourn. I'll be performing original songs that I have written and speaking on my experiences. <br />If you have a group that would like to hear this presentation, please contact me to schedule a time-- rachellethewriter@gmail.com<br /><br />If you would like to receive an update on when and where my book is available, drop me an email at rachellethewriter@gmail.com and I'll add you to my author news list.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to sharing more with you about my experiences on this blog and am working on a few special segments. <br />Thanks for your support.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-49131826440286114222009-10-24T12:03:00.000-07:002009-10-24T12:03:00.385-07:00Words Won't Make it All Better, But They Can Definitely Make It WorseI wanted to continue the thread from my previous post <a href="http://copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com/2009/10/magic-thread.html">found here</a>.<br />I mentioned that it's hard to know what to say, but something that can help relieve the stress and discomfort is to know that words won't make it all better. It doesn't matter what you say to a person who has experienced a miscarriage or any kind of grief--it's not going to miraculously change their situation.<br />But in the same vein, words can definitely make it worse. So how do you find a balance?<br /><br />I think the key is in realizing that you can't fix the problem so don't try to say something to fix it. This usually ends up in statements that diminishes the other's loss and causes added pain.<br />Instead, be sympathetic and if possible, empathic. Sympathy is expressing compassion, concern, or care for another's situation. Empathy is when you offer sympathy from a viewpoint of experience. You've experienced the same situation and so you recall how you felt and offer comfort.<br />Both sympathy and empathy are needed. But sympathy is not telling someone, "At least you know your baby would've had birth defects and died anyway."<br /><br />That is a person's attempt to make themselves feel better about the situation--not the person mourning. For some reason, no matter what the situation, humans automatically grasp for a reason to provide justice or explanation to the occurrence. What you must realize is that if you are offering comfort to someone, you can't share with them what comforts YOU. You can't explain to them why something happened, offer philosophical insight into how the world is just, etc. and hope that they will smile and say, "I feel better. I'm not sad anymore."<br />No, those are things that cross your mind and help you understand the world you live in, but they don't comfort someone who is grieving.<br /><br />So next time you're in a situation where you need to offer comfort, make sure that is what you're offering. Not advice, reasons, justification--offer comfort.<br />And shake off the worry of needing to say something that will make them feel all better and realize that you're not going to make them feel ALL better, but if you're wise and offer heartfelt expressions of sympathy/empathy you might make them feel better for a time--feeling ALL better is something you can't give to another person. It's up to them and it takes time.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-40114887051585824512009-10-20T13:45:00.000-07:002009-10-20T14:02:07.790-07:00Magic ThreadA close friend of mine is going through yet another miscarriage and I paused to think about how hard it is to say the right things. Even though I've gone through miscarriages I still worry about what to say.
<br />I guess I worry because so many people said exactly the WRONG things to me when I had my miscarriages. You know some of them,
<br />
<br />"Your baby would've probably had too many birth defects."
<br />
<br />"Don't worry, you'll have another baby."
<br />
<br />"It's not the same as a death."
<br />
<br />"It's been six months, aren't you going to try to have another baby?"
<br />
<br />"... "
<br />And sometimes the worst were those that said nothing at all, but ignored me because they didn't know what to say.
<br />
<br />It's okay, I know how they felt and I don't harbor ill feelings to anyone. In fact, I've forgotten much of what was said and if it wasn't for my journal and writing my book, I probably would've forgotten all of them.
<br />
<br />That's one blessing we all have is our fading memory. For some that causes fear and anxiety because you think,
<br />No, I don't want to forget my baby.
<br />
<br />You won't forget your baby, but hopefully you'll forget the raw edges of pain cutting into your heart when you lost your baby. Hopefully, you'll remember the bond that was formed the moment you discovered you were pregnant and not the sadness and sorrow associated with loss.
<br />Forgetting the fine details is one way we cope as human beings, otherwise life as a whole would become overwhelming.
<br />
<br />Just remember probably the easiest and best thing to say is, "I'm sorry."
<br />But you could also say:
<br /> "Is there something I could do to help?"
<br />"Would you like a hug?"
<br />"I'll pray for you."
<br />
<br />You don't have to say something to make it all better, because it won't be. Words don't make it better. The love you share helps heal a hurt.
<br />
<br />I'd like to leave you with a thought I shared with one of my readers:
<br />
<br />I understand the feeling of a breaking heart and I wish I had magic thread to stitch it back together for you. The only magic thread I know is time.
<br />
<br />Let time be your comforting companion on your journey through grief and trial and let fading memory be a salve to help you overcome your sorrows and put on those "rose-colored glasses" and look back in time and see only the good parts.
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<br />Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-57257274297658636472009-10-03T06:19:00.000-07:002009-10-03T06:19:00.135-07:00Mending Your HeartDianne recently commented on another of my blog posts:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"I had a miscarriage 36 years ago, and it's not something that a woman forgets."<br /></span><br />It is so true.<br />You'd think that for me, with three kids now, it wouldn't even cross my mind. <span style="font-size:130%;">But sometimes it hits me </span>and I know that the loss didn't disappear, didn't dissolve just because I have kids. The pain definitely diminished, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved to have those children too.<br /><br />It's another <span style="font-size:130%;">myth</span> of miscarriage that you should just get over it, take your short bereavement period and move on. <span style="font-size:130%;">A huge myth</span> that has pervaded this society of women is if you have children either before or after the miscarriage you lose your right to mourn. One of my goals with this blog and my book is to dispel the <span style="font-size:130%;">myths surrounding miscarriage</span>. I believe that if we could rid ourselves of the myths and their baggage, we might have a more successful grieving period and feel okay living in our own skin again.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SsJl2hxHXYI/AAAAAAAAAlM/3DfZhGc6jNc/s1600-h/100_1812.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SsJl2hxHXYI/AAAAAAAAAlM/3DfZhGc6jNc/s320/100_1812.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386980091740249474" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">If you've had a miscarriage and you're grieving your loss</span><span style="font-size:130%;">, may God bless you. </span>I hope that you continue to feel stronger and know that it's okay to have a tiny corner of your heart that pangs for that loss even several years later, not that I'm debilitated by it, but that I do remember. But now I've accepted that<span style="font-size:130%;"> life</span> will not always be happy blooming roses and yet I can enjoy it all the same.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-69138867584652692122009-10-01T11:12:00.000-07:002009-10-01T11:12:00.063-07:00National Share Organization for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc.I've found a wonderful new online resource called <a href="http://www.nationalshare.org/">Share</a>. This website is an incredible bank of support for those suffering from miscarriage. Share also has a <a href="http://nationalshare.blogspot.com/">new blog</a> you can visit to read more about how to make it through this tough time.<br /><a href="http://www.nationalshare.org/" target="_blank"></a><br />Share has so many different types of information and maybe something you read will help provide comfort and assurance. I'm the reading type, so I liked to read about different things to help me remember I'm not alone.<br /><br />Share also has chapters all over the United States, <a href="http://www.nationalshare.org/Groups.html">Click here</a> to see if there's a chapter near you.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-49293694277727168662009-09-29T09:39:00.000-07:002009-09-29T12:56:25.211-07:00Thoughts from Guest Blogger, N<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SsJmWzAD-WI/AAAAAAAAAlU/DyWg9awAdac/s1600-h/100_1818.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SsJmWzAD-WI/AAAAAAAAAlU/DyWg9awAdac/s320/100_1818.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386980646122158434" border="0" /></a><br />Today I would like to thank my friend, N, for sharing her thoughts about miscarriage. I think it's so important that we hold out our hands to each other and share our strength--the strength we've gained from encountering similar circumstances.<br /><br />N emailed me and said:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"I feel that it is very important that women realize that there is no<br />need to minimize our experiences regarding miscarriage. That<br />pregnancy and loss mean different things to different people. Some may<br />not consider a loss at 12 weeks that substantial, whereas others, like<br />myself, do. I loved that little baby from the minute I saw 2 pink<br />lines on that pregnancy test.<br /><br />I had hopes and dreams and made life plans around my baby. Not only did I lose those dreams, but I lost the dreams I had for my living son and his experiences with having a sibling.<br /><br />I am a neonatal intensive care nurse, and I thought due to all the things I have witnessed in the NICU (neonatal death etc..) that I would be able to better cope<br />with miscarrying. I was so wrong. So really, though I have seen and helped parents that have lost babies, I never truly comprehended how deep that loss goes. You<br />lose years of plans and dreams as well as a baby."<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;">Beautiful</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > </span><span style="font-size:130%;">thoughts</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> that can help all of us to remember that</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">we are worth taking care of.<br /><br />I want women to know that it doesn't matter how old or young you are, where you live, where you work, how many kids you have or don't have, you still have the same right to grieve your loss.</span>Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-43650933686855255972009-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:002009-09-21T11:32:07.156-07:00What questions do you have about miscarriage?When I had my first miscarriage, I had so many questions and I read everything I could find about miscarriage to try and find why it happened.<br /><br />I had questions about what would happen the next time I tried to get pregnant.<br /><br />There were questions about how to deal with the roller-coaster of hormones now that I was no longer pregnant.<br /><br />I had questions about the existence of my lost baby--what happened to this child?<br /><br />I'd like to answer some of your questions on this blog. Please email me at RachellethewriterAT gmail.com with your question and I will write a post to help answer it.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-11337873126744009252009-06-10T12:12:00.000-07:002009-06-10T12:25:07.411-07:00Reaching Out to Lift Each OtherLife is hard. Sometimes I try to kid myself into thinking it's not supposed to be so hard, but the reality is, it's hard and that's why we appreciate it so much.<br /><br />One of the trials I have faced during my life began nearly ten years ago when I embarked on the first experience of pregnancy which later ended in a miscarriage. For a while, I couldn't talk about it, didn't want to think about, kept wishing it didn't happen. But it did.<br /><br />I didn't know until it was already too late that I was pregnant with triplets. That's still hard to grasp. Sometimes I let myself think about how it would be to have three, nine-year old kids right now and it's a pretty crazy thought! It doesn't hurt nearly as bad, but the fact that I still think about those babies, shows how powerful the bond was even though my pregnancy did not come to fruition.<br /><br />As I've worked over the years gathering information for my book, <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage</span>, I've learned many things. One is that I'm stronger than the trials I face--I'm still here! It's hard to talk about things and realize that nothing can change the past. And most important, I've learned that I am of individual worth.<br /><br />I am a mother of three beautiful children now and everyday I thank my Heavenly Father for them. Being a mother is hard work, and getting there was half the battle. But something I learned over the years of infertility and miscarriages (yes there was more than one) is that my worth is not defined by my motherhood. I am a valuable person no matter how many children I have or didn't have while I was waiting for them to come.<br /><br />I hope that if you have struggled with something similar that you will take this nugget of truth with you today. You are of individual worth, despite your trials and the circumstances you face. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are a child of God.<br /><br />May you find peace today.<br /><br />*If you would like to share your experiences, ask questions, or contribute to my guest column, please email me at copewithmiscarriage AT gmail dot comRachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-17327381028431785782009-05-19T09:06:00.000-07:002009-09-21T11:17:13.957-07:00A Flower to Share<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SrfCtGMQm9I/AAAAAAAAAjc/MHJ8XhbOryw/s1600-h/100_2611.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_uLsg-ecpO4E/SrfCtGMQm9I/AAAAAAAAAjc/MHJ8XhbOryw/s400/100_2611.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383985959556651986" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:180%;" >Today I wanted to give you a flower to help you remember that you are special and loved. Every flower is unique and beautiful in its own way, just as you are.<br />Have a beautiful day.</span>Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-57255472741390443042009-03-31T14:01:00.001-07:002009-03-31T14:05:36.587-07:00Share Your Story About Miscarriage<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Crachelle%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in; line-height: 200%;">One in three hundred couples will have three or more consecutive miscarriages and one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. This means that almost everyone will know someone in their lifetime that has experienced this trial, yet few women talk about their losses openly. Millions of people will be affected by the loss miscarriage brings. You are not alone.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in; line-height: 200%;">Do you have questions about coping with miscarriage? Would you like to share your story to help others? Please contact me at copewithmiscarriage@gmail.com or leave a comment on this blog.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.25in; line-height: 200%;">Thank you.
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2902178781339052177.post-64214548326469795552009-01-21T11:20:00.000-08:002009-05-05T08:37:30.965-07:00Why a Blog About Miscarriage?Did you know that one out of every three women will experience a miscarriage during her childbearing years?<br />Think about someone you know who has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. Did you know what to say or how to help them?<br /><br />This is why I created the Coping with Miscarriage blog. When I experienced my first miscarriage, I needed something to read that would comfort me and someone to talk with who really understood what I was going through. I plan to fill this blog with several different topics to help those who mourn and those who comfort.<br /><br />I also want to put the word out about my upcoming book. The title is <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage</span>.<br /><br />I wrote this book because I wanted to discuss the many questions I had about why miscarriage happened, the conflicting emotions I experienced, the devastation I felt when I couldn’t get pregnant after my miscarriage and what happened to the babies I lost. Many women that I talked with had the same questions and concerns.<br /><br />I hope my book will help someone to travel their road of grief with knowledge that even though the mountain is steep, there is another side. There are people all over the world who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility. If you would like to share your story here, please contact me at copewithmiscarriage@gmail.com<br /><br />I will be posting several stories of personal experiences with miscarriage, infertility, and stillbirth because I believe that sharing our experiences helps us realize that we aren’t alone in our grief. It also helps us believe that on the other side of our trials, life has something in store for us—something that might not be a baby—but definitely something that we are supposed to have in this life.Rachelle Christensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05522589944408062365noreply@blogger.com3